Thursday, November 02, 2006

AM: more train delays on the coldest day of this autumn/winter yet.  I spend the entire train journey wondering how and why I became relegated to the z-list.  I woke up this morning at 5.40, 20 minutes early, with a mattress spring stuck in my back just next to where the knife has been stuck in recently (ha ha).  What am I doing wrong though?  Seriously, maybe it would have been a good thing to be sued, it would have lent some fee earning notoriety to my existence and my entertaining misdemeanours blah blah blah.


PM: after an unwise lunch out (including a Brookside actress spotting) no bank machines will allow me to withdraw any money.  An anguished phonecall later and I discover that as a term of my new loan with Natwest, they have taken away my £3000 of my overdraft facility and left me with an overdraft of just £100.  As part of biding my time, I was relying on at least £1000 of that overdraft to see me through until I become qualified next year.  Suddenly I find myself painted more into a financial corner than ever before and hear myself saying to the Natwest woman down the line “what should I do?”.  I have been off work and paying my mortgage with a credit card and never felt this financially helpless.  The fear of a financial God shoots through me, this is real Halloween.  I cannot decide whether Natwest point out that I was underpaid on my last paycheque is a good thing or a bad thing but as I fortunately catch my boss to transfer the missing into my account, it is only a temporary answer.  In a world where people not born in my country are able sponge entire lifestyles above mine for their whole families and others do not work a day in their lives just to have their elders purchase them homes, I begin to wonder why I work long and hard to have nothing to show at the close of the working day.  You will certainly find me venting often these days.  Luckily there is an envelope containing £200 in my flat – please don’t rob me now.

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