Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Tuesday 22 January 2008

Today is a good day. Last night feels like a rare victory in what have been troubled times and when I eventually get to work and spot Iain we are both in agreement that Morrissey last night was simply amazing and inspiring.

Around lunchtime as I pass Zoe she asks me just how the “racist vegan” was last night and for the first time all year I am all smiles, brimming with positivity with a natural inclination to hint towards “you should have been there.” I take great efforts to mention that Carol loved it also and as I mention her name I visibly see Zoe blush. What is that about? I know what I like/want to think that is about and for the first time in a long time I feel I actually have one over on her. Its nice to be afforded the opportunity to gush for once. This is the best it has been for quite a while.

After work I head down to the White Cube gallery to briefly meet up with Carol where I said I would give her a copy of my book. When I get there she is not around and she makes me wait outside for her in the cold. When she finally emerges it is with some guy she works with who is plainly more of an adult than me. I can’t compete in this world. Swiftly I hand her a copy of the book before she announces she has to get home in preparation of her flight tomorrow. All in all I get little return for my efforts this evening.

From here I quickly head over to Prince Charles cinema to catch a showing of Brick Lane. I don’t really think I am overly interested in this movie, more I just don’t want to go home at this time. That said any British movie will always command some kind of interest from me.

Brick Lane is a book that I have listened to people laud for years now. Personally I have scratched my head not really sure what it could possibly hold that is new in comparison to so many stories (book and movies) that have come before regarding the subject. However the pictures I have seen of this movie show the star as being truly gorgeous in a downtrodden way which is a device perhaps aimed directly at me that will obviously omit some kind of empathetic response.

In the end the film is long and testing. As ever I was hoping for some kind of Buddha Of Suburbia experience but there is a distinct lack of fun attached to this story as its dour message of experience plays out. Once again the Asian immigrant into England story is one that makes you consider “why bother then?” Still, at least I sat through it with good heart and manners which is something that can only improve me as a person.

Afterwards I fall out of the theatre in the Leicester Square night with the evening getting late. By the time I am eventually on a train the night is heading towards bedtime and by the time I finally get home I find myself exhausted and miserable after a second night out looking for some kind of answer. It didn’t happen tonight.

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