Sunday, August 23, 2009


Sunday 23 August 2009

An arrival time of 6.30AM on a Sunday morning is not any kind of ideal scenario. Today is another warm warm day and while ordinarily most people would appreciate this, it only serves to make me feel uncomfortable.

A mild dulling headache comes through from yesterday and emerges to serve and disrupt proceedings today upsetting my first few steps into the haggard old state of 33.

As a result of such morose leanings I spend the early part of the day in bed watching DVDs. What else are you supposed to do on a Sunday? I can’t think of anywhere I am supposed to be.

The first thing I watch is the remaining episodes of season 2 of Saxondale. Tommy Saxondale is easily one of my favourite Steve Coogan creations/inventions, even despite the drastic hair change between seasons. Obviously there are elements of Partridge in him with his delusions, anal persona and hidden perversions/kinks but with the rock background this brings a whole new set of issues to the table.

Moving on I dig out the Region 1 SNL Best Of Tracy Morgan DVD that I ordered from Caiman. I’ve said so many times this year that Tracy Morgan is my new comedy hero so obviously I love this disc with his recurring characters Brian Fellows and Astronaut Jones amongst his great creations/inventions.

Next I pull out another Region 1 disc in the form of the No Wave cinema documentary Llik Your Idols which was made by some French people I briefly befriended on Myspace a year or so ago. This however is a proper release etc and with it looks a great package along the line of a release Plexi would issue. The documentary is interesting but also hard work. When I first came into money and discovered Ebay I bought a Richard Kern video (“Essa presents Deathtripping: The Films Of Record Kern Two”) off the back of the Sonic Youth connections. The tape turned out to be a tawdry watch of horrid visuals and (pleasantly) pummelling relentless soundtracks. Lydia Lunch would pop up in the films from time to time as the most recognisable face which probably more likely gave birth to my affections and crush of her than any of her music or literary feats, of course those didn’t hurt either.

The old unpoliced Ebay was a beautiful place circa 2002 where I could discover videos such as these dubbed at home complete with photocopied covers (if coming with covers at all). I managed to come across some real gems included the Shellac second stage headline set from Phoenix 1994, the infamous Sonic Youth South Bank Show appearance blah blah blah. Hey I even tried to sell a used butt plug one time but that is a whole different story. I also used to sell audiobooks of The Koran in MP3 on CD-R which The Sun once listed in its Top 100 weird Ebay sales. This used to get me a small flood of abuse with people with funny names. Heady days that early part of the noughties.

Unfortunately before Llik Your Idols ends I find myself falling asleep. This may be due to the content of the documentary or this may be due to my headache and fatigue. To be decided.

With lunchtime looming and with it a visit to the Chinese buffet with my family, I slip on series two of In Sickness And In Health to watch a couple of episodes. This is pretty bittersweet viewing. The first show is the post funeral episode of the death of Alf Garnett’s wife Else and I can’t decide if its down to the show not ageing well or if it is me being depressed remembering those times but I find the experience of viewing the show utterly glum. There now appears a kind of guilt attached to this comedy and humour and after years of hoping the pinko elements of the BBC would release the program now it does not live up to nostalgia. It has been weird to note the fairly high chart placings in high street chains of these discs but I don’t feel it any more and because of this I feel conflicted. Perhaps it is more about me not wanting to be transported/transplanted back to the mindset of the ten year old me watching it with my parents. Or maybe I don’t want to be reminded of how things were probably better at those times despite the apparent personal misery of my previous sentence. I watch a second episode just to make sure the emotion wasn’t a one-off and it fails to thrill also. It comes with a sigh of relief when the episode ends. Maybe it was just even the laugh track.

I do the Facebook thank yous still surprised by those who did not bother with birthday wishes. Wow, the obvious ones blew me out and didn’t even bother. As per my petty ways, this will not be forgotten.

Eventually I head to the olds and we do the usual Chinese buffet on Crouch Street. As ever with me these days I struggle to get through more than two plates. Ironically with my belly getting bigger and bigger these days you would think I’d be able to scoff more than ever. Go figure.

Afterwards I head into town. Colchester looks crappy today. I go into Gap for trousers and they have none. I go into Waterstones for books and they have none.

Back at the olds on Sky this afternoon is Fulham vs Chelsea which is a fixture no person in their right mind could ever be bothered with. Afterwards we switch over to see The Ashes trophy presentation, a trophy that looks like it has fallen out of an expensive Christmas cracker. We won this series not through being good but through Australia being crap. Fact!

When I head home I feel in a fairly decent mood and to celebrate I watch two episodes of Entourage and smoke a cigar. The cigar makes me feel ill and almost kills me. For some reason today it is too heavy for me. Is this an indication of what it is like to be 33?

From out my writing desk window in the distance I hear somebody playing “Radio Ga Ga” at a ridiculous volume. To counteract this I respond by playing Lydia Lunch’s “Big Sexy Noise” at a ridiculously loud volume.

After the combination of the cigar, Berocca and Alli I spend the remainder of the evening feeling dizzy and sick.

Looking for refuge I come across School Of Rock on TV. Wasn’t this only on recently? Then as I wander to the internets I come across the appearance of Simon from Diskant on the fourth plinth as part of this One And Other thing. I find his appearance truly inspiring, even to the point it moves me to applying for it myself. I know what I will do if I get on there.

Eventually I hop in the bath that I ran about two hours ago before ending the day with watching the oil wrestling task on Big Brother in the hope that Sophie will look hot. FAIL.

Later I fall asleep watching TV, that’s my life.

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