Saturday, January 09, 2010


Saturday 9 January 2010

The snow came down again last night, enough to make me shy away from getting in my car and actually going anywhere today.

I awaken just after 8.30AM today, which represents something of a lay in for me on a weekend.  I feel annoyed that I turned in so early and easily last night considering just how much great stuff was on TV last night.  My bad.

Eventually I pull myself together to go do the Saturday newspaper run.  As I leave my flat initially I cannot find my keys and when I open my front door I discover them still in the door lock where they have been all night it would seem.  I have not done something like that in a very long time.  Immediately I begin reeling off a number of “what it” scenarios in my mind but this is unnecessary but nothing did happen.  For a moment I even stop to check that all the keys are present, even briefly half worrying if anyone has got a copy cut in the meantime with view to breaking in at a later date.  These truly are early morning crazy thoughts.

As I leave my flat I seem to pull my calf as a tingling spasm shoots sharp pain as I go down the stairs.  Ping.  The trudge down Layer Road to get the newspapers is not necessarily a fun one, outside it is very cold once more.

When I get back it is almost 9.30AM and already I feel that I am wasting the morning.  As per routine I put on the Danny Baker show and settle into doing not much more.  Again this week I put the video feed on my PC and listen as he bemoans about the lack of Start cereal in the shops today, according to him it has disappeared.  The thing is that that is currently what I am eating in the mornings so I promptly email the show to say that “I can get Start, it is Lucky Charms you can’t get for love nor money” and a few minutes later my message appears on screen!  That’s a pretty good start to the day.

Unfortunately news comes through that in Africa on the way to the African Cup Of Nations tournament the Togo team bus has been set upon by gunfire result in fatalities (initially the driver and then sadly some backroom staff).  It gets murmured that they may be pulling out of the competition and by the end of the show sadly they have.

After the show I eventually get out of bed and take the throne at my computer desk moving the radio from Radio Five to Radio Two in order to listen to Jonathan Ross’s show before he stops it in the summer.

One of my plans originally for today was to get a much-needed haircut but in this climate however that seems like a fool’s journey.  This is not a good day to be heading down to Clacton but then again when is?

When the post arrives with it comes a cuntish letter from my property management company threatening legal action over some apparent unpaid bills but firstly they were the people that stopped the direct debits and secondly their paperwork never stipulates when payment needs to be made or actioned.  This Countrywide lot who have had so many names over the years really have poor admin.  And now I notice they’ve already slapped on a £25 (plus VAT) charge onto my statement.  But it is their fucking fault these things have not been paid.  Absolutely useless.

On Jonathan Ross today is Andy Serkis talking about playing Ian Dury in the upcoming biopic.  He turns out to be one of his most interesting and entertaining guests for a long time and with it comes a play of “Clevor Trevor”, perhaps my favourite Blockheads song.

My flat is genuinely freezing today which obviously hinders me from getting out and even accomplishing any writing.  The writing thing also comes coupled with some kind of cramp in my right hand all of a sudden, where the fuck has this come from?

Today lots of props occur for my Facebook Cull, it seems that I may be doing something right for a change.  This is perhaps the first ongoing positive reinforcement for my writing I have experienced in quite some time.  It’s the best feeling.

In the end I avoid leaving the flat today, able to do so due to the abundance of Christmas food remaining over, all of it fattening and unhealthy.  This is good stuff.

On TV is Kicking & Screaming.  Is there nothing Will Ferrell can’t do?  Jesus, Americans really don’t understand or get football do they?

Slowly I begin writing and gradually it begins to come together, assisted I suspect to overdosing on bad Christmas food as fuel and the sugar buzz that comes with.

Looking out of my window I see birds and squirrels sitting in the trees freezing.  For a moment I consider opening my window and inviting them in for some kind of Disney scenario but then I realise just what a mess it would make.  Those poor critters.

Late afternoon ITV shows Catwoman starring Halle Barry and worryingly I find myself somewhat interested and transfixed by the movie.  Indeed it is shocking, delivered in a slick music video style.  This Catwoman is so far removed to the one in Batman Returns (and the TV series) it is depressing.

Today the afternoon just serves to bore me and with it I begin to look at porn on the internet.  Just as I begin doing so there is a knock on my door that I initially ignore but then a trapping knock of some kind of rhythm pounds on my door.  Is this the porn police coming to get me?

When I answer the door with a boner it turns out to be a guy I do not recognise with a bottle of win in his hand saying “sir, do you have a bottle opener?”  Where the fuck did this lush come from?  I do have a corkscrew but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to give it to this guy.

Channel Four shows The Simpsons Movie again tonight, which once more brings memories of Zoe flooding back.  I thought this year was supposed to be starting on a high.  I wonder what she up to these days.  The last time I looked on Facebook it said she was “in a relationship.”  I wonder if she ever thinks of me, sadly I doubt it.  I can’t believe that it is two years now since she had me despairing, wondering just where I went wrong.  In the long run she wasn’t worth the mind I paid her.

When the movie ends I proceed writing and drinking again after the it paid off grand dividends last Saturday.  Tonight however I only experience moderate success/results while listening to a Blaxploitation documentary on Radio 2 hosted by Pam Grier.  It’s a so so documentary paying too much credence to Quentin Tarantino.

After this with the time at 11PM I am physically and mentally finished so I head to bed.

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