Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thursday 20 January 2011


Thursday 20 January 2011

I scream at my alarm when it sounds this morning.  Grizzly.

The highlight of Daybreak this morning comes from the Anglia News where a head of police in the region is apparently called Alfred Hitchcock.  No one else appears to notice this.  Maybe I imagined it.  This story is definitely funnier than the lead featuring the poor mother that is having to put her disabled child into care due to the Cameron cuts.  This is the modern world.

It is cold this morning and when I get to the platform there is no sign of the 6.57AM.  Help!  Then when it finally arrives it is a mongrel train with the first carriage caked in the darkness of power failure and is out of service.  This is exactly what I mean by mongrel.  Also this morning it means more people than usual will be squeezing into my carriage.  This is then realised as once aboard the train a plate crowder immediately plops himself next to me before the train has even left the station (which is five minutes late in leaving itself).  Why am I not happy?

On this note I discover today that the National Express East Anglia contract has been extended to February 2012.  In other words until the end of the world.

As the train arrives at Ingatestone and Shenfield the crush in the middle of the carriage borders on distressing, causing me to feel guilty about being in my seat, in apparent comfort.

The train eventually rolls into Liverpool Street at 8.06AM.  The mathematical analysis of this performance could (will) drive a person insane.  Despite leaving the station five minutes late according to the new timetable the train has actually arrived two minutes early according to the new timetable, which to be honest in comparison to the old timetable is eight minutes later than it ought to be, not least based on this performance.

As I head towards the tube platform I spot Chinese OCD Man frantically finishing up tidying the Metro rack.  With a job well done I watch as he gets up and heads off into the main section of the station (as opposed to onto a tube).

On the tube this morning is a Borat type asking the guy in front of me for guidance on the tubes.  I don’t think I would as accommodating.  Watching the lost guy continue his query I eventually come to the conclusion that this guy has got to be a plant, put in place by a newspaper to do a story regarding how friendly and helpful London people are.  It is at this point I remember that I have a tube map in my pocket that I don’t need and I actually find myself reaching for it.  Maybe I’m not such a dick after all.  In the end though the guy assisting even gets off at Great Portland Street to point Borat in the right direction before reboarding the tube.  These are manners of insanity.

When I finally get to St Johns Wood just as the doors of the tube open the theme song from Jersey Shore (“Get Crazy” by LMFAO) arrives by shuffle on my iPhone.  The juxtaposition is so wrong it is hilarious.  As a result such ridiculousness it does at least see me head into work with almost a smile on my face for possibly the first time this year.

Today the auditors are not in and suddenly I feel free to get on with the priorities and essentials.  With such apparent freedom I tear into actual accounts work.

After a productive morning we soon arrive at lunchtime where the Filipino appears to be choosing and dictating what I am eating each day now.  Its all for the greater good.

From here the afternoon continues in a flying manner at a productive pace and soon we find it has passed and we are running home to reality.

Tonight when I get home I attempt to scrape off some writing while watching various downloads.  Such endeavours clash in execution producing limited returns in each capacity.

At 10PM the new 10 O’Clock Live show with Charlie Brooker, Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell and Lauren Laverne begins on Channel Four.  Its aim is to be topical and incredibly satirical.  Its ok, has its moments but ultimately is painfully too smug and lefty to swallow whole.  My reaction to it is akin to Rick in The Young Ones as he excitedly watches Nozin’ Aroun’ only to be aggressively disappointed, kicking in their television in the process.  I do not kick my TV in; instead I just belittle the piece on Twitter.  That and fall asleep.  This is the modern world. 

When I reawaken in the early hours it is to the sight of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.  I did not see this creeping into the schedules.  I really have incredible memories attached to this movie.  And tonight if I allowed it, this film just might fuck me up.  It is one of those rare movies that I have seen in the cinema twice including the first time being a date with Sarah.  Spooked by such triggers I roll back over and just pretend the movie is not there.  I don’t switch off my TV though, that would just be too easy.  Go figure.

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